So, your daughter wants to wear make-up, huh?

tween teen makeup tips for parents

Girls grow up so fast and want so badly to fit in that if your tween daughter is asking to wear makeup, you can bet some girls in their peer group already are. So, it is time to consider letting her wear a bit. You’ll want to note that your daughter is willing to talk to you about this issue, which speaks to her trust in you. Keep this in mind when you answer her. You’ll want to put your emotions about how fast she is growing aside and try to be rational in your answer.

Progression is the key. I find makeup to be something you give permission for in stages as she gets older and more mature, you allow more. If she is a young preteen and in middle school, very light blush a little mascara, maybe a colored eyeliner and lip glosses will do. Then it’s a progression to other types of makeup like shadows, darker lipsticks and foundation as she gets older.

Understand where your tween daughter is coming from. Young girls think of wearing makeup like it is a rite of passage or a milestone they have hit. Parents will want to be careful not to turn this into a battleground. Turn this opportunity into a time where you can guide her, help her build her self-esteem and allow her some independence. Set the rules without makeup together, be ready to compromise.

Get the help of the makeup consultant. Talk to the moms of your daughter’s friends and see if you can get together a party as mother-daughter makeup night with an in-home consultant or an afternoon out together for lunch and a visit to a department store that has makeovers. Be sure to talk to the consultants beforehand and impress upon them that you wish your daughter to use makeup that is appropriate for her age.

Impress upon your daughter how wearing makeup adds to her hygiene routine. She needs to be prepared with makeup remover if, for instance, she has softball practice that day. Because she is a teenager her skin will react poorly, possibly resulting in acne, if she does not keep it clean and gets makeup in her pores. Take a look at the products available and encourage your daughter to wash her face before going to bed at night and before applying makeup.

Talk to your daughter about how much makeup is appropriate for the occasion she’s attending. For instance, she would wear more makeup going to a party then if it’s going to school. She should also experiment with color choices when she is at home, as some can make you look like you’re wearing more makeup than you actually are.

Be open to allowing your daughter to experiment with makeup. While you may not want her to wear certain color eyeshadows, foundation or dark eyeliner when she’s going to school, allow her to experiment with them at home and maybe use something to go to a party or elsewhere with friends. Like I said earlier in the article, it’s a progression. When your daughter is 13, a little is enough. But as they get older and enter high school, you’ll want to give a little more so that your daughter progresses slowly with how much makeup she uses.

Oprah had makeup artist Bobbi Brown on her show, here is the article, which includes makeup tips for you and your teen or tween. I really agreed with this tip:

“a natural look that highlights—not hides—a teen’s best features. For girls who love wild colors, Brown says to experiment with nail polish, not makeup. “Purple, black, blue—anything goes right now with nails,” she says.”

Don’t forget to use the Internet as a resource for teen makeup. YouTube has some makeup videos done by teens on what to wear on your face on a school day, Teen Vogue has some articles on makeup – Yes, they are a little heavy on the makeup! But you can use that as a conversation starter. Turn makeup into a bonding time that the two of you can look forward to.

One word of caution: Don’t forbid your daughter to wear makeup. If you do, you are drawing a line in the sand and she will cross it. You will have a battle that isn’t worth your relationship. For her to listen to you she needs to feel you are respecting her thoughts and feelings on the issue. Work on a compromise right from the start, letting her know that you will be willing to give a little more as she gets older. Respect her growing need to be independent and she will respect your authority.

Asking our Parenting Community:
How much makeup did your parents let you use an age 13? 15? Are you going by the same rules with your daughter? Have you enjoyed some ‘makeup time’ with your daughter? Please share your experiences, thoughts and advice in the comments area below.

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