Talking Back and Sassiness

Talking Back and Sassiness

Useful Rules for Successful Parents

Successful parents know that clear communication is the basis for effective discipline. If you aren’t communicating with your child in a clear and consistent manner, there isn’t much more you will be able to do. When your child starts to talk back or act sassy is when you need to step in and stop the behavior. This type of rude behavior can become a habit that is very hard for the child to break and can drive a parent crazy. Therefore, if you can nip this behavior in the bud, it will benefit everyone. Here are a few things you can do:

Call them on it. When your child talks back to you, you need to let them know that very minute that it is unacceptable behavior.rudeness is not allowed. Of course you don’t want to be rude back, even if what your child said as frustrated you for the 10th time. You’ll want to try and encourage them to change what they said so that they learn from the experience. I have often found the short sentence: “Please say that again using your manners.” to work with my children. You can try that that sentence or something similar.

You’ll want to remember to try and keep any frustration or sarcasm out of your voice. If your child looks at you quizzically, give them the words that she would prefer to hear. If your child complains because you are not tolerating their talking back and they continue to talk back, whine or sass, then it’s time to have a full discussion with them about their rude behavior. Ask them to take a timeout and once they are calm, you can talk about it. When your child is calm down discuss the rude behavior and talk about ways to prevent it from happening again.

Don’t get sucked in. In other words, do not get pulled into the whirlwind that your child is creating with their backtalk. When a parent does get pulled in, both parent and child loses as the parent tends to get frustrated and may become sarcastic or will begin yelling. At this point no real communication is happening. It’s time for everyone to take a step back and a deep breath.

The best way to not get sucked in is to be confident about the rules and limits you’ve set. Know that your child does not want to follow the rules so they are bringing you off on a tangent, hoping to not have to follow the rule. An example: Parent: Our rules is to pick the things up off the floor of your room before you watch television. Please go do that. Child: But, you didn’t make the baby pick up his things. What should the parent do here? Should they say something like: “Of course not! The baby isn’t able to pick up their own things.” No. The parents should be confident in the role as the limit enforcer, repeat the rule calmly and not get sucked into the argument.

Your goal is not to rationalize why the baby doesn’t have to do things older kids do, it’s to get your child to pick up the floor of their room. Encourage your child to speak to you respectfully. while some of the cool slang terms may sound funny coming out of your child’s mouth, if you encourage this behavior it encourages disrespect towards you and other authority figures. so , praise your child when they use respectable talk towards you. Recognize when they ask you a question with a plea or answer with a ‘Thank you.’

Set a consequence. When you talk to your child about talking back after an incident has escalated or your child is falling into a habit of back talk, make it clear that there is a consequence for continuing to use this rude behavior. Here is a list of suggested consequences:

  • Loss of television privileges for one day
  • Loss of cellphone privileges for one day
  • Loss of computer privileges for one day
  • No outings with friends for one day
  • 5 to 10 minute time out

You’ll note that these are quick consequences. They have a fast reset time so that your child has the opportunity to change their behavior quickly. If you were to take their privileges away for they a week for talking back, what’s the point of them trying to change the behavior the next day? Quick reset consequences tend to work best for backtalk.

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